ENTREE: Pulled Porkgasm

There aren't many sandwiches as tasty as pulled pork. I think I've officially perfected my pulled pork recipe. I could seriously eat this every meal for the next year. Remind me of that resolution when I weight 300 pounds...

• 1 1/2 lbs boneless pork loin
• 1/2 cup organic ketchup
• 1/2 cup cider vinegar
• 1/4 cup brown sugar (not packed)
• 3 T. McCormick mesquite seasoning
• 2 T. Tabasco Worcestershire sauce
• 1 t. ground mustard

Throw everything in the slow cooker and cook on LOW for 8 hours. Flip the pork loin halfway through, if you happen to be near the slow cooker. About 20 minutes before you're ready to eat, shred the pork so it can soak up the tasty sauce better. I served it on Grands flaky biscuits -- maybe not the healthiest choice, but delicious and totes recommended.

APPETIZER: Sweetballs

I'm kind of a one-trick pony when it comes to appetizers -- I've probably brought the same spinach-artichoke dip to every party I've attended since 2005. But no more! Now I'm a two-trick pony! A beef craving inspired these tasty balls, which would make Pete Schweddy proud.

(If you haven't experienced the magic of Pete Schweddy, please take a moment...)


Anyway. Here's the recipe:
1 can cranberry sauce
3/4 cup ketchup (again, Heinz organic is the bomb)
1/4 cup brown sugar (not packed)
1/2 can of beef broth
a bag of frozen meatballs

Put everything but the meatballs in your slow cooker, and cook on HIGH for half an hour. Add the meatballs, reduce heat to LOW, and cook for 2 hours or until the meatballs are thawed. Balls accomplished.

ENTREE: Biere Dip

There are few foods in the world I love more than French dip. Seriously. If you put Russian caviar next to a poorly-made French dip, I'd still pick the dip -- no question. So it was high priority for me to come up with a solid French dip recipe. And here it is.

• 1 1/2 pounds of chuck roast, cubed
• 12 oz of beer (I used Leinenkugel, but I bet an amber or a stout would be even better...)
• 1 can of beef broth (low-sodium for me)
• 1 package of onion soup mix (generic rocks)
• 1/2 cup of soy sauce (Kikkoman)
• 1 Tbsp minced garlic

Throw everything in the slow cooker on HIGH for 6 hours. Move the beef to a bowl and shred it with a fork; put the shredded beef on a roll.  Strain the little onion bits out of the broth, and make bowls of au jus for dipping. My hubby recommends a slice of cheese on the sandwich, but I can go either way. Tres delish, dude.

ENTREE: Fakeyaki

I'm addicted to Chinese food but a total wok-o-phobic. Too easy to overcook the chicken, too easy to undercook the veggies. Not to mention, my inner health nut feels guilty super-soaking the pan with sesame oil. So I came up with this dish that takes about five minutes to prep, two hours to cook, and tastes like real teriyaki. You don't even have to invest in sake.

• 3/4 cup brown sugar
• 1/2 cup organic ketchup (I'm anti-HFCS)
• 3/4 cup soy sauce
• 1 Tbsp minced garlic
• 1/4 cup cider vinegar
• 1 lb. boneless chicken breast, cubed

Throw the chicken on a cast iron skillet for about two minutes, so the outsides are white but the insides are still pink, then throw it in the slow cooker along with everything else. Whisk it up and cook on HIGH for two hours. Added steamed broccoli for the last 15 minutes of cook time (or add frozen broccoli halfway through). Serve over rice, obvi.

Hello, slow rider.

Intros are awkward, so I'll keep this one short. My name is Kara. I'm an unfabulous cook. It's not that I can't cook -- I don't burn rice or dry out fish -- it's just that I don't have the patience for anything that requires two pots or more than three ingredients. There are exactly four dishes that fit my criteria, and I'd estimate that my husband has eaten each one of them approximately 400 times.

(He cooks too. Don't get any June Cleaver notions. It's just that I work at home, and by the time 4:30 rolls around, I'm usually too hungry to wait for him to get home, get inspired, and get dinner started. So I'm just like, "Welcome home! I made crab quesadillas...again!")

Then we got the slow cooker for Christmas. Technically he got got the slow cooker, but I've commandeered it. Here's why I love slow cooking: Do you remember spin-art?

Put a piece of paper in the spinner, squirt some paint, and hope for the best. You never knew what the finished product would be until it stopped spinning, but it was always AWESOME! At least by my standards. I had spin-art all over my bedroom in 1988.

That's kind of how I feel about the slow cooker. I dump some ingredients in, stir, and 6-8 hours later, I find out what sort of tasty masterpiece I've created. I'm happy, my husband's happy, and I'm eating REAL food for a change. (I actually bought celery last week. And my potato peeler is finally getting some action!)

So, this is my collection of slow cooker recipes. It's mostly for me to remember what the hell I threw in the pot, but if someone else can use it too, yippee!

xo, K