ENTREE: Santorini Butterfly Pork

Okay, so I have no idea if they make this in Santorini. But it has kalamatas -- that's Greek, right? And really, I just like to think about Santorini.

This is one of those dishes that looks super-impressive but was deceivingly easy to make. My mom thinks I'm completely kitchen-incompetent and happened to drop in as I was putting this on the table -- I think she's mentioned it six different times since then. "That pork you made looked amazing!" she says, with more than a hint of disbelief. Can't argue with her.

• 1 1/2 lbs. butterfly pork loin*
• 1 red pepper, chopped
• 2 T. minced garlic
• 2 or 3 c. frozen chopped spinach, thawed (measure to your own taste -- I like a lot of spinach)
• about 20 kalamata olives, chopped
• 1/4 c. feta
• a couple of toothpicks

Tenderize the pork if you feel so inclined, but you don't need to go crazy, or even do it all. It might make the rolling easier. Mix the pepper, garlic, spinach, and olives in a bowl. Scoop some of the mixture onto each strip of pork**, roll it up, and secure it with a few toothpicks. Spread some olive oil on the bottom of a casserole dish, put the pork in there (pork-side down -- try not to let the veggies touch the bottom) and cook at 375 degrees for about 45 minutes. Accept compliments.


* My husband thinks we should have used more.

** If you buy the butterfly cuts, they're already pretty flat and separated for you. If you buy a big hunk of pork roast, you'll just have some extra slicin' to do.

ENTREE: Italian-ish Turkey-Stuffed Squash

My hubby is on a diet, so I've been dragged into his little low-carb hell. (I'm a pasta addict. This is torture.) On the bright side, it's forced me to come up with some creative, healthy dinner recipes. I'm not posting any of them unless I can honestly say "I didn't miss the carbs." This one qualifies -- it was delicious.

• 1 lb. ground turkey
• 1 yellow squash (cut in half, lengthwise)
• 1 red pepper, chopped
• 2 T. minced garlic
• 1/4 tsp. black pepper
• 1 T. parsley
• balsamic vinegar

THE SQUASH: Cut the squash in half. Scoop out the insides, put them in a bowl, and set it aside. Put the squash "boats" in a dish, cover them with 1/2 cup water, and cook them in the microwave for three minutes. Drain the water.

THE STUFFING: Mix the squash innards with the uncooked turkey, chopped pepper, garlic, black pepper, and parsley. Mash it up like you're making a meatloaf. Cook it all in some olive oil.

THE FINAL PREP: Drizzle balsamic vinegar into the squash boats. Fill them with the meat mixture. Eat. Feel virtuous.

Sweet Pork Stir-Fry

Okay, so it's not technically stir-fry, but it tastes just as good without all the stirring and frying.

• pork rib end (I don't know...2 lbs?)
• 1 bag of steam-in-bag asian veggie mix
• 1/2 can of mandarin oranges*
• 1/3 c. brown sugar
• 1/3 c. cider vinegar
• 1/4 c.soy sauce
• 1 T. minced garlic
• 1/2 tsp. chicken bouillon
• 1/4 t. ginger

Throw everything but the veggies in the crock pot and cook on LOW for 6 to 8 hours. ABout half an hour before you're ready to eat, cook the veggies in the microwave and dump them in. You can also dump them in frozen at the very beginning, but they stay a little crisper this way. At least that's what I've convinced myself.

* I assume you could just peel a regular orange, but who wants to? Oranges are one of my favorite fruits and I almost never eat them because they're so hard to get into.

ENTREE: Bad Day Beef

I'm not saying yesterday was a bad day. It was actually an awesome day -- brunch with friends, a three-mile walk, and some Oscar dress-bashing. (Loved Cameron, hated Charlize.) And to top it off, I concocted a delicious pot roast recipe which I'm totally whipping out the next time I do have a craptacular day. I LOVE COMFORT FOOD.

Doesn't this just make you feel warm and fuzzy?

• 2-3 lb. beef roast
• 1 can of beef broth
• 1 can of condensed cream of mushroom soup
• 1 can of whole peeled potatoes, diced
• 10 baby carrots, chopped
• 1 package of dry onion soup mix

Brown the roast on all sides (I used a cast iron skillet on high heat; only took a minute or two). Throw everything in the slow cooker and cook on LOW for 6-8 hours. The juices from the meat will mix with the other stuff and make a killer gravy, so I recommend having some mashed potatoes or biscuits at the ready. You can always add extra carrots or potatoes. I might try substituting canned FO soup for the dry mix next time, just to have more gravy.

ENTREE: Heh heh...stroganoff.

I didn't take a picture of the stroganoff. Why? Because beef stroganoff kind of looks like barf. I posted a plea on Facebook to see if anyone could help me with the aesthetics, and one of my friends helpfully replied, "That's why you cover it with noodles." Gotcha.

• 1 lb. beef cubes
• 1 T. garlic
• 2 cans cream of mushroom soup
• 1 c. sour cream
• 1/4 c. organic ketchup
• 2 T. Worcestershire sauce
• 1 can mushrooms

Throw everything in the slow cooker and cook on LOW for 6 hours or until the beef is fully cooked. Serve under egg noodles. Under. Okay?

ENTREE: Piña Pork Quesadillas

I'll put pineapple in just about anything. It drives my husband crazy. Doesn't he know that eating pineapple is like taking your taste buds on a tropical vacation? (Dole, send me freebies. NOW.) I think it's the perfect addition to chicken, ham, rice, ribs, ice cream, cake, and pretty much every other food except maybe an Angus burger. (Won't knock it 'til I've tried it, though.)

So, I made these pineapple pork quesadillas for my in-laws over the weekend. And even my hubby had to admit they were the bomb. Welcome to Team Pineapple, babe!

The recipe:

• 1-2 lb. pork loin
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1 cup organic ketchup
• 1 cup Newman's Own pineapple salsa
• 2 T. A1 steak sauce
• 2 T. Jack Daniels
• 1 T. Worcestershire sauce

Throw everything in the slow cooker and cook on LOW for 6-8 hours. I flipped the pork loin halfway through to make sure it was cooking evenly and juicy all the way through. About 20 minutes before serving, shred the pork and return it to the sauce to let the juicy goodness sink in. Scoop into quesadillas -- I like using Mexamerica's ginormous burrito shells, and I heat them in our beloved cast iron skillet until they're just slightly golden. Dip in guac or more salsa. Or both.

SOUP: Nom Nom Split Pea

Holy mackerel, ham is expensive! Apparently, if it's not Easter, you're screwed -- it's like $11 for a teeny little pig tush. Kinda defeats the purpose of being a slow-cooking cheapskate. So, I put together a split pea soup recipe that doesn't require cooking a giant ham hock in the soup, but still tastes like porky deliciousness. I would drink this out of a straw if I could.

• 1 lb. bag of split peas, rinsed
• 2 c. diced ham (I just used a $2.99 pre-packaged diced ham in water)
• 1 can of whole potatoes (dice 'em)
• 10 baby carrots, sliced
• 1-1/2 T. minced garlic
• 2 T. parsley flakes
• 1 T. Lawry's seasoned salt ("Yo, it's got to be 'cause I'm seasoned, haters give me them salty looks!" -- can't add Lawry's to a recipe without singing that)
• 1 t. black pepper
• 5 c. hot water

Throw everything in the pot and cook on LOW for 10 hours. That's really all there is to it.